7 Myths About Losing Your Virginity - Busted!

Let's talk about Popping the Cherry! 🍒

Popping the cherry, Deflowering, Taking the V card  - No matter what you call it there are some big fat myths about losing your virginity and they can cause a lot of unneeded stress and anxiety.
Let's debunk them now!

01/ Your first time will be painful.

If you have a vagina, there may be some pain or bleeding the first time you have penetrative sex, but not always!

The hymen (thin, fleshy tissue located at the opening of the vagina) is unique to each individual. Some vagina owners don't ever have one at all! The first time you have intercourse, if you have a hymen, it may or may not tear or stretch. If it does tear, there might be some light spotting or bleeding and a small amount of pain. Some people don't even notice a thing. If this does happen it's nothing to worry about and very normal. Your partner would not feel this with their fingers or their penis. It's important to communicate with your partner before and during intercourse to ensure you are both comfortable and happy. 

A good way to help avoid a tear or any kind of pain is to use a good water based lubricant. Whether you are a penis or a vagina owner, you may also experience pain or irritation during sex due to friction if there isn't enough lubrication or if you’re feeling anxious, your muscles may be tense, making your vagina tighter. This can also make penetration uncomfortable.

Go at your own pace, communicate and relax. 

Check out our range of water based lubes here! 

02/ Breaking your hymen means you've lost your virginity.

Absolutely NOT!

The hymen is very misunderstood. There are so many myths about what it is and how it works, it can all get very confusing. Although it's no wonder, as medical professionals don't even know what use it has. What they do know is that your hymen does not serve as a virginity indicator.

There are several ways your hymen can break and most of them don't include any penetration or sexual activity at all. The hymen naturally thins over time and can eventually tear, going completely unnoticed. It typically develops openings that allow for penetration long before your first sexual experience.  Activities like biking, horseback riding, gymnastics, dancing, using tampons, and masturbation can break your hymen. 

03/ I've fooled around, so i'm no longer a virgin.

The term "virginity" refers to never having had sex. However, there is no single universal definition of sex... so, there is no single universal definition of virginity. Being a virgin means different things to different people. The most important thing is knowing what it means to you. 

Virginity is an idea, and it means different things to different people. Some people consider themselves a virgin until they have had penetrative sex, while others believe they are no longer a virgin after engaging in any type of sexual activity with another person, such as oral sex or fingering.

You can think of virginity how ever you want to. 


04/ Your first time will be magical.

People tend to think of sex like something out of a movie, and that's totally normal. It's all you've seen and all you know. Real sex is very different to the movies. It's normal for your first time to be a little awkward and fumbly. Things don't always go to plan, embarrassing things can happen, awkward silences, misplaced kisses and lots of giggles.

It takes time to learn what you like and what you don't. Don't be nervous to vocalise your likes and dislikes to your partner, they won't know if you don't tell them! 

If you first time isn't what you expected, there is always next time... and the time after. Practise makes perfect! 

05/ You can't get pregnant if it's your first time.

This is 100% FALSE!

You most definitely can get pregnant your first time. Anytime a penis enters your vagina you are at risk of becoming pregnant. Even pre cum is enough to create a pregnancy. 'Pulling out' is not a reliable method of contraception as it's often too late. It's also important to be aware that semen can be transferred from fingers to the vagina and even if semen is outside of, but near the vaginal opening you can still become pregnant. Always use contraception and don't be scared to have a conversation with your partner about it. It's just as important to talk about contraception as it is to talk about your expectations.

06/ Everyone is doing it and you should be too!

This is far from the truth. In fact less people are doing it than you think.

The peer pressure around sex for young people is so great that many of them lie about it to feel like they're "fitting in," That could even include your friends. It's perfectly normal for people to enter their 20s as virgins, and there's no need to feel ashamed or rush into things.

Take things at your own pace, don't feel pressured by what others may or may not be doing. When the time is right for you, you'll know.

07/ I shouldn't let on that this is my first time.

Being upfront and honest is a very important for you and for your partner. Losing your virginity can be a very emotional time, trying to make out that it isn't your first time could add extra stress, pressure and expectations leaving you feeling very venerable afterwards. If your partner doesn't realise it is your first time they will not know that you may need extra comfort and reassurance throughout and after sex.

Honesty is the best policy.

Newer Post